Posted by: Neeraj | August 22, 2008

The Path of Least Resistance

I am not a very firm believer and supporter of Darwin’s “Survival of the fittest” phrase primarily because I don’t belong to that class. So I became the propagator of the much less known (in this context) “The path of least resistance”. I began to liken myself to this phrase as I grew. Not the strongest of people physically and toughest mentally this phrase has helped me and my kind survive till now and hopefully in the future too.

When I was a kid nobody played Godfather to me though I badly needed one. So whenever a fight broke out in the neighborhood I took the street next to the one in which the brawl took place even when my heart went out for the weak brother who I could identify with anyway. That helped me as I always lived to see another day.

The Darwinians always head for a situation where we, the weaklings (weaklings is a euphemism for the followers of the Least Resistance Clan) anticipate trouble. We have formed our own mechanism of countering these everyday situations. So instead of trying to reach office at 9 in the morning we try to beat traffic and reach the office by 8 and leave by 5 in the evening while the Darwinians jostle for space on the road which may lead to a potentially disastrous hit in the ass and the ensuing fight. Then everyone knows that having dinner in a Restaurant at night on a weekend is a big challenge – the Darwinians again reach there in the peak of the night, waiting and fighting for their space whereas the weaklings have learnt to get hungry by 8 pm so that they could enjoy their dinner outside without ogling Darwinians (and the waiters turned Darwinians) preying over their seats. Developing our own method to live in this brutal world we have fine tuned ourselves to watch the first show of a new release on a Saturday morning even though with groggy eyes, in the process helping the guards open up the gates of the mall (as if we were there for a redo of its opening) while stepping carefully over spilt water on the granite floor which the housekeeping guys are warming up to clean in a while.

By following this practise we only get to see the Darwinians receding in the rearview of our cars while moving out of the parking or through a light brush of the shoulders while exiting the mall. I can very proudly say we, the weaklings, have learnt to enjoy the makeovers (couldn’t resist myself from using this much in use term) that the Darwinians have forced upon us. No regrets because the teller at the toll at least says good morning and the housekeeper in the mall welcome. I guess they suffer from an overdose of Darwinians too but unlike us they don’t seem to have a choice.

PS: A few things the Weaklings should avoid to prevent being confronted by a Darwinian

– Discount Sales
– Traveling without a seat on trains
– Last minute checkins at the airport  
– Distribution of gifts on the eve of Diwali
– New year bashes
– Getting a voter’s id card
– Standing in line for a passport
– Packaged tours
– Marriage ceremonies on an auspicious day

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Responses

  1. i think maybe all of us are somewhat darwanians and somewhat weaklings depending on the situation we are in….there are some situations where we are darwanians and some where we try and take the other route and if that route is not available then i guess we become weaklings …again very well written!!

  2. I totally agree with Anirudh and perhaps he has already said what I wished to.We are both Weaklings and Darwinians with variable composition and the circumstances we survive in.This is how all of us have our battlefields which we are destined to face,handle and come out succesfully as per our capabily.

  3. I classify myself as a darwinian in most situations, but when it comes to the people I know I am a weakling by choice always willing and more importantly loving to adjust to make them happy. Lagtaa hai yeh mehtaa khaandaan ke khoon mein hee hai.

  4. Now I know whats going on…who’s getting hands dirty in writing 😛 usage of ee, aa makes it obvious 😀

    A good read!

  5. Very funny… but it’s also this clan of weaklings (I don’t know where I lie) which cause problems such as those mentioned in your last post.

    The weakling takes the path of least resistance when there is traffic on the road. And this path is usually the opposite lane.

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